Four Will Be Very Loud. FOUR DAH DAH DAH!*

That lobster keeps getting smaller and smaller, and it gets trickier and trickier to coerce you into lying still for a picture.

You at age four, both in your own words and in mine (in parentheses):

If you could change your name, what would it be instead of Zachary? Hoogie Noogie Oogaga!
My favorite toy is: my vehicles (specifically construction vehicles, and also your Kinder Egg dinosaurs)
My favorite book is: the big big dinosaur book that Auntie Candy gave me (I would agree with that assessment, and also add the Dinosaur Rocket/Dig/Zoom/Pirates series)
My favorite food is: bacon and eggs for breakfast and peach and plum (also cherng fun and hash browns)
My favorite show is: Storybots and Daniel Tiger and just some of the Octonauts (all true)
My favorite song is: Rat Race and the planet song *starts singing it* And theT. Rex song. I like that one too (also Baby Shark)
My favorite animal is: Zebra because they have black and white stripes and I like stripes (also stegosaurus)
My favorite planet is: Mars, because I like red.
My favorite place to go is: Paigey's house. I like going to the zoo too (now that you've been to Legoland, I think that might be the new winner)
My favorite thing about school is: There's lots of friends to play with.
My favorite thing about BBG is: She says "Ah da!"
My favorite thing about Daddy is: he makes silly faces and silly stories.
My favorite thing about Mommy is: I like reading books with you.
My favorite thing about Walnut is: He goes meow meow meow like a usual cat.
What will you be when you grow up? I will be a dinosaur trainer and BBG will be a porg! (You've also said that you will be a palontologist and a zookeeper.)
What are you good at doing?  Coloring fishes at the aquarium. I'm good at carrying some things, like Friendly Zebra and Mr. Bear. (IMO, you have an incredible memory.)

Who is your best friend? Paigey (truth)

What do you guys like to play together? Bellybuttons! The same slide. We like to play with Cassidy too. (So sweet of you to include Cassidy! You guys also love playing Octonauts and running away from KRey the monster.)

What was your favorite thing you did this year? Our whole family goed to the zoo and we ride the gondola. (Pretty sure it's Legoland now.)

What makes you laugh? Singing bellybuttons songs with Paigey makes me laugh. 

What makes you happy? Silly songs. Friends with silly noises. 

What makes you sad? If you go away I will get sad.
What makes you angry? Angry crashes of cars going "ksshhhh" into mountains. And they'll get stuck if there's a monster. (Also when BBG gets into your things.)
If you could be an animal, what would you be and why? A T. Rex because I like to be scary!

What does Mommy say to you a lot? Hotcakes. (I don't think I've ever said that to him.)

What does Daddy say to you a lot? Silly phrases like "Hobble nobble dobble" on the first day of school. (They have a silly phrase before drop-off routine.)

What do you like to learn about? Dinosaurs! I like to learn about Stegosaurus. (Also body parts, planets, and animals.)

What do you think love is? Love means that you hug somebody.
Okay, so when you say you love bacon, does that mean you should hug it? Yes.
But then your shirt will get all sticky! If you just hug it softly then your shirt will not get sticky.
Oh, I see. So what happens if you hug somebody but you don't actually love them? You will die and turn into a fossil.  

Quotes from the last few months:

After a discussion about cat and dog doors: "Friendly zebra needs a zebra flap so he can go inside houses. He keeps asking me for a zebra flap."

"Some time I can go to Mars, when I’m bigger."

"This isn’t naan bread, it’s nonsense!"

"I caught an old boot! What kind of fish is it? It was a self-fish! The old boot was a selfish!"

We frequently tell you we can't go to the zoo because it's not open until a certain time: "We can’t go to Daiso! It’s not open til 15 degrees. Right now is only 98 one."

I asked you to tell me a story: "Me and all my friends took a hot air balloon to the Oakland Zoo. They were so excited to walk around there. We saw some eggs...brown ones! They hatched and they had candies inside. They had no eyes. They were duck eggs and they had ducks inside the candies!"

"When I grow up I’m going to drive a red car. I will match PohPoh!"

After hearing a mention of quicksand: "Who’s queen Sarah? Will she die if she gets too old?"

"Why is BBG’s mouth so small? Because God made her that way!"

"Zebras and horses have four legs. Zebras and horses make sense. Humans only have two legs. Humans don’t make sense. If humans had tens legs we would be so silly!"

"BBG is new because she was in your tummy. I was in your tummy too. When I was in your tummy, BBG was in the back. I was in the front and she was in the back so you can’t see her."

After a discussion about the twilight zone in the ocean on Octonauts, and  hearing us later mentioning it was twilight because it was evening: "Do we live in the Twilight Zone now?"

We said you couldn't have any of our specialty iced coffee drink because coffee was for grown-ups: "Definitely when I'm 15, me and Daddy can drink coffee. I'll have one every morning!"

After showing you a map of the locations of volcanoes in the world: "North America does not have a lot of volcanoes. Sorry, North America! Maybe you can share some with Asia."

I told you that weasels live in holes, and I've also frequently said "In a hole in the ground there lived a hobbit," so when we talked about how fossils are made: "They're buried in the ground? Like in holes? But they're not weasels or hobbits!"

Pouring milk into your cereal bowl apparently brought flashbacks of helping Daddy in the garden: "It’s like watering the garden, but milking the cereal."

After reading the Animal Bodies book, where it talked about what animals have body parts adapted for their lifestyle: "I have a very good shaped nose for smelling the tomatoes."

"BBG is my baby. You need to grow another baby for you and daddy."

Regarding Uncle Joey: "Is Paigey’s uncle a baby kangaroo?"

That time you recognized the "zo" on the Zojirushi and because it’s got an elephant on it as well, you drew the obvious conclusion: "Is that from the zoo?"

When PohPoh stayed over while Daddy was on a business trip: "You can have my zebra blanket so you won't get cold!"

Anthropomorphizing unnecessarily: "I’m sorry broccolini! My daddy knocked over your container!"

Watching a video of a penguin chick being born, after declaring that we are a penguin family, and he is a baby penguin: "Oh look at me! I’m so little and cute!"

"Mommy, we have two random animals in our family: a cat and a porg."

Our family's origin story: "One day when I was little me and Mommy were having special Mommy Bebbers time and Daddy went to Home Depot and bought our house and then he put it down on the ground and then we came back with the perfect pet and it was Walnut and he was so nice and brown and then we went inside the house and ate dinner."

How to make bread: "First you mix it ten times and then cut it and throw it in the air and put it in the oven with some water and then you boil it in a pot and then you cook it and then you have to put some potatoes in it and then you have to mash it with one mig smash and then you have to put some strawberries and smash it again and then you put even some dinosaur stickers on a paper and then you eat it up and that's how you make it. Will you tell your mommy and daddy what you learned from me?"

Advice to new parents: "Keep the baby safe by keeping it in the house. Feed the baby food like strawberries and blueberries and pineapples and steak and stuff like that. They should stay with the baby so the baby doesn't get sad."

Having issues with how to express that it's been a long time since going to the bakery: "I’ve never been to 85 for any longer!"

When you saw the Alameda County abbreviation on the bus: "Does the AC bus mean it’s cold?"

After helping Daddy weed the garden: "I wish we had a Brachiosaurus to eat our weeds."

TL;DR: You are very silly and really into learning about the natural world. Good thing I'm a kind of goofy science teacher? No but really, your capacity for learning and remembering is awesome, and I am constantly impressed by your brain; your silliness generally amuses me and it's a delight to hear what you come up with. It's hard, though, as a Ravenclaw-leaning parent of a Ravenclaw child, to remember that there's more to teach you than just cleverness and books. We're working on the friendship and bravery (and oh, Harry, being careful, too).

*Title courtesy of the game we play in the car on the way home from church: we take turns counting in different voices (loud/soft/fast/slow/high/low/smooth/staccato) in order to help keep BBG from falling asleep in the car.

Three Point Six Six Six Six Six

A snapshot of life with a three and half year old you...two months late.

Reading the Sandra Boynton animal ABCs book, we get to "G is for groundhogs grinning." 
You: I never seen a groundhog before. Why I never seen a groundhog before Mommy?
Me: Probably because they live underground.
Later we get to "V isfor vicuna violinning."
You: I never seen a vicuna before. Is it because it lives underground?"

Motherhood achievement unlocked: you picked flowers for me. 

We are looking through the Star Wars Visual Dictionary, one of your favorite "picture books." You especially love Finn "the sick guy," the Praetorian Guards (aka "the red guys") rathtars, BB-8, flametroopers, and the alien waiting to get a massage on Canto Bight. 
You: Why this guy doesn't have a lightsaber?
Me: Because only Jedi have lightsabers. Luke Skywalker has a lightsaber because he's a Jedi.
You: Is Darth Vader a Jedi? He has a lightsaber!
Me: *ponders how to explain the Sith and the Dark Side of the Force*
You: I like Darth Vader because his lightsaber is red.

This thrifted jacket is your favorite because it's red. When your teacher asked us to dress you in red for Chinese New Year celebrations at school, we were like, he's ready for CNY everyday.

Your other favorite books right now: Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, Chicka Chicka 1 2 3, The Berenstain Bears, Dino Dig/Zoom/Rescue/Pirates/Rocket, Sheep in a Shop, Happy Birthday Little Pookie, and (still) the Encyclopedia of Animals and The Ultimate Dinopedia.

Your best "friend" right now is Friendly Zebra, a Christmas present from your grandma.
Mssr. Bear has sadly been demoted. 

Zebras and herbivorous dinosaurs are still big in your world, as are African herbivores and Arctic & marine mammals. You've started to grok that dinosaurs are extinct but still have trouble with the concept that they were once real animals that lived on Earth, but unicorns and monsters are imaginary and have never been real. You like to check with me on what things are real and what things are make-believe, like some kind of bizarre PTSD Peeta in the Hunger Games homage. You are especially curious about the diets and predators of various animals, so I spend a lot of time looking things up on whateats.com. We've tried discussing food chains but because you identify so strongly with plant-eaters, you get quite upset about the idea of predators ever succeeding in catching and killing prey, so you always insist that the prey animal has successfully defended itself with its spiky tail/hooves/speed/other defensive mechanism. On the flip side, this self-identification means we have very little trouble getting soluble fiber into your diet because all it takes is a reminder that zebras love eating green things.

You love that jacket and your zebra pants so much, you wanted Friendly Zebra to have a matching outfit. The ridiculousness of making zebra-print pants for an actual zebra was lost on you.

Things that are definitely not your favorites: creepy-crawlies ("There's a buggy! There's a buggy! Daddy can you kill it?"), unexpected loud noises ("I don't like those dog soundses."), having to wash your hands after using "the pod" when you're in a hurry to get back to doing something, unauthorized people touching Friendly Zebra ("But he's very special to me, Mommy."), any kind of game where an adult pretends to be a carnivore chasing you, shadows at night, Kylo Ren and furries at Comicon, meat (except expensive steak and chicken nuggets), and BBG saliva on your toys.

Your zebra costume got another unexpected outing when we went to SVCC. I had grand plans to dress you up as a Praetorian Guard to match my Dark Rey and BBG's porg, but you were adamant about being a superhero zebra. Friendly Zebra went along with his own matching cape. You did not like all the huge dressed up characters wandering around, but loved the free Yakult. 

On days at home, you love listening to music on the pig [speaker], and it's both amusing and slightly annoying to hear you singing old nursery rhymes ("Polly put the kettle on, we'll all have tea...Sukey take it off again, they've all gone away") and then asking endless questions about them ("What's a kettle? Why don't they use a teapot? Why do they want tea? Why did they all go away?"). When we're in Daddy's car on the freeway for a decent stretch, we'll let you listen to the Stories Podcast. You started by listening to "Dinosaur Christmas" about fifty times, then moved on to the "Gingerbread Man," "Old Lion Bold Lion," "Three Little Pigs," "The Little Red Hen," and basically any story that has both animals and songs. You've absorbed this podcast's style so much, the other day I overheard you telling a story to Friendly Zebra and you finished it by saying "The end! This has been a story by Daniel Hinds." In my car, we tend to listen to either the Moana soundtrack or any of the four VeggieTales soundtracks. You find the most random things funny ("Were those eyeballs in the closet?" "Got any Ritz Bits?" "Smells a little musty." "What's a gwumpkey?") and will repeat them over and over to yourself and crack up.

Things that are important to you: red and zebras. 

We sing a lot of songs together during the day, and when you repeat them it's funny to hear your interpretation of some of the more obscure lyrical references. For example, the countdown in the Hamilton duel is "One two three four five six seven eight nine number ten paces FIVE!" Because in your world, repeating a random number at the end of a string of numbers makes more sense than yelling "FIRE!" Or instead of "My Bonnie lies over the ocean," you sing "My bunny lies over the ocean" (cue endless questions about what a bunny is doing in the ocean). Or when we had steak and you informed us it was actually "a staken" because of the nursery rhyme "Bat, bat, under my hat, I'll give you a slice of bacon; when I wake I'll bake you a cake, if I'm not [a staken]."

The meals where you and BBG can eat the same thing as Mommy and Daddy are steadily increasing! 

He had a good long run, but now you are so over Daniel Tiger for teethbrushing; instead, Octonauts is all the rage. Tunip is your favorite character and you would like to be him (it?) for Halloween. For your birthday you go back and forth between wanting a Gup A or D cake or the rainbow balloon cake from Costco. Besides your fifteen minutes of teethbrushing + Netflix, we've now expanded your screen time to allowing you twenty minutes of iPad games on the days you don't have school. You enjoy the Duplo games, Moose Math, Elmo 123, and some random other free educational games. What's really surprised me is that you (so far, knock on wood) have excellent self-control when it comes to these and other "treats." When the allotted episode or game time is up, you know to pause your video or game and then close the iPad. Even if I'm busy with BBG, you don't sneak extra time. Same goes for your daily jellybean (the big container is within reach on the counter, but you only ever get one for yourself, and when a rare request for more is refused, you are fine with that answer) and weekly ice cream (I overheard you telling your babysitter at my school that you ice cream is only for Saturdays). Would that you could retain that self-control as you get older!

Preferred flavor of ice cream: strawberry if it's available (because red), and if not, vanilla. 

Thanks to the Octonauts, Harry and the dinosaurs books, and the WWF catalog, you now know about the concept of endangered animals. We talked about various forms of pollution and the other day you tried to stop a visitor from getting a straw with their drink because "it's bad for the whales, right Mommy?" You are currently saving money earned from helping Daddy in the garden, but you go back and forth between wanting to use your money for the Duplo animal set, or for saving the endangered animals. We'll see what actually happens when the crucial decision time comes...

You started full-time preschool at "the school next to Trader Joe's" shortly before turning three, and it was there that you learned about all sorts of characters that are big with the under-five crowd: Paw Patrol, PJ Masks, and various Disney characters. The hilarious thing is that you don't actually know anything about them other than the random bits gleaned from your classmates' play, so you keep asking me about this and that but I don't know anymore than you do what it is that Chase does or the name of that green guy. You also learned random Spanish songs, Bible songs, and rote prayers from your actual teachers, as well as how to use scissors and eat cucumbers. Otherwise, things were kind of boring for you since you already had your alphabet and numbers 1-10 down pat before even starting there. Things got especially hard when you stopped napping and had to sit quietly on your cot for two hours every afternoon. We decided that the school wasn't a great fit for you so a couple of months ago, you switched over to a 3-days-a-week Montessori school. I don't know if it's the change in pedagogy or being in a classroom with bigger kids or what, but suddenly you are much more independent...and Really Into Numbers. You love counting, pretending to add ("1+1 makes 2! 2+2 makes 3! 4+5 makes 6!"), putting things into progressively larger groups, pretending to measure things ("BBG weighs thirty-two one!"), trying to write numbers, making up songs about numbers ("One! Dah dah dah! Two! Dah dah dah!") and reading books about numbers. Oh yeah, you're still really into reading. Going to the library is a favorite outing, rest time = reading time, your favorite thing about going to Costco is the books, and when I asked you if you miss anything/anyone at your old school, you told me you only missed the books. You most definitely are my child!

Wearing one of your favorite shirts (herbivorous dinosaur! red double decker bus!) on your last day with Miss Tess.

I asked you what your favorite work is at school and you said numbers. 

It's so interesting to see you show more and more traits of mine as you continue growing; some, like a love of books, I'm thrilled about. There are other things though, like preferring solitary stuffed animal play and getting nervous in large groups and having no interest in sports, that make me a little concerned -- not that I think there's anything wrong with those things, but I remember how those things made school social navigation a little harder. I need to remember to back off and let go and hope that you emerge on the other side of middle school more resilient and confident in who you are than I did. So far, you are more than happy to march to the beat of your own drum, whether that's reading in the corner while playdate chaos erupts around you, or playing that you are a zebra running around on the playground when all the other boys are robots, or insisting on wearing your fandoms (zebras and polar bears) in the form of fleece pajamas when it's so warm that everyone else is in shorts and tee-shirts. I hope you retain that surety of self as you grow up!

Hopefully you like science too. 

Now that you've gotten more settled into the big brother role BBG is older, it's so fun to see you two interact. She thinks everything you do in endlessly fascinating and laughs hardest at your antics. You are pleased to ham it up for her, but are less appreciative of her trying to show love by pulling your hair/pants/toys. You are okay with letting her play with your second tier toys (Buddy Bear, all the predators, the less desirable vehicles) and sharing your non-favorite foods, but we'll have to work on true sharing in the future. You frequently request for her to join you in the bathtub but then get upset when she inevitably splashes you. A common request is for Daddy to take BBG away so that we can have "special Mommy-Bebbers time, just the two of us!" There are glimpses of brotherly love, though, like the other day when I had my hands full and you spontaneously fetched her dropped puffs and then, when she was finished, told her "Okay BBG, time to go roll around on the floor!" and then tried to lift her out of her high chair. Thankfully I saw that and was able to stop you before any accidents occurred, but it was a sweet thought nonetheless.

Pussy hats for all!

Since your preference for Mommy is quite clear, bedtime routine is usually just me. We read together,  get endless last sips of water, then you turn off the light with a cardboard tube and we snuggle while you get the option of song, story, or questions. For a while it was "The Friendly Beasts" with added verses for extra animals, then it was questions (" Why do we need windows? What's a fair? What do wildebeests do to defend themselves against predators?"), and now we are on a story kick (usually a rehash of your day with extra fantastical elements thrown in). Then we pray, do fifty last hugs and kisses, then you may or may not wake up multiple times at night because of coughing, BBG crying, losing one of your stuffed animals among the twenty or so in your bed, needing the blankets rearranged into a nest/"burrino/spread out so you can see the letters, or because of shadows.

Another red thrift store shirt for Mother's Day!

It can be frustrating to have you home Wednesday and Thursday and then have multiple wake-ups to deal with as well, but there is also the joy of seeing you smile at me and pronounce that you love me, the oxytocin rush of the snuggles you still enjoy ("Mommy, can you keep me safe?" is your code phrase for wanting to be enveloped in my arms), and the fun of seeing what you come up with in your imaginative play. Parents of my high school students frequently tell me that they miss when their kids were that little because now they just want to hang out with their friends, so as exhausted as I am now, I try my best to remember that the days are long, but the years are short.