There's not a whole lot about babies in textbooks when you study biology in high school or college. Most of what you learn in these textbooks about the human body pertains to mature human systems. As parents, we learned that at a certain point (around 2.5-3 months), babies will only poop once every 3-5 days, some even up to 21 days. Their bodies are learning to be more efficient with the nutrients and energy from breastmilk. We thought it was constipation, but it's completely normal. Sound unhealthy? It may be for adults, but not for babies.
Great, you think, less poopy diapers to change, but the flip side is that an anxiety forms within the parents after day 3 of no poop. The fear of an explosion of poo (known as a poosplosion) is enough to make anyone tremble. On the third day, you start to modify your plans for going out since being out in a restaurant or other public place would be the worst. By the fourth day, you don't even want to leave the house. Well the poosplosion finally happened on day 5, and lucky for us, it happened at home, in the middle of the day, on a weekend, when I was home to help. Three days later, we weren't so lucky. We had a poosplosion that exploded all the way up to his armpit. That onesie went into the trash and the only way to clean off Z was to take a shower with him to rub off all the poo.
Why the shower? Because the consistency of poosplosion poo starts to be more of a chunky peanut butter substance instead of the previously seedy mustard poo. Which is terrible because it is so hard to wipe off.
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| This is what a poosplosion looks like. Note how it runs up the back of the diaper (not pictured: the poo-covered baby.) |
Regardless, I love Z so much. And it's fun to talk about poop.
Some Q&A:
Q: Was this what you expected it to be like in terms of dealing with poop?
A: I never knew poo could be this sticky but there's nothing like a clean, happy baby after the event. Our pediatrician did give us a flyer that listed different kinds, colors and textures of baby poop, but nothing can really prepare you for poosplosions.
Q: Should I be scared of babies now and their potential poosplosions?
A: No, chances are you won't be holding the baby when a poosplosion happens. If anything, you should give props to all parents who are willing to roll up their sleeves each day and get their hands dirty.
Q: Is there a diaper brand you like to use?
A: Pampers all the way. They even have a rewards program for loyalty to their brand.
Q: Does your appetite get affected by the poop?
A: No, and I still like peanut butter.
Q: Will Z look back on this entry and be embarrassed?
A: You know it.
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| Who would've guessed that such nastiness could come out of such a cute butt? |
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