How the Seventh Month Went

Dear Zachary,

We are fortunate to have many friends with older children who can alternately reassure us that you are developing normally, warn us about impending doom (read: crawling), or sympathize with our lack of progress with sleep training. The one thing they've all said, though, was that things get so much more fun after the six month mark. Unsurprisingly, they're right; you have become such a little character over the last month! I thought you were pretty great (minus the sleeping thing) before, but in this last month it's been like that part in Civilization Revolution when you discover a secret island and there's an explosion of great people...you discovered solid food and suddenly it's been an explosion of new skills and personality.

On the day that you turned six months old, you were sitting on your daddy's lap as he ate a banana and next thing I know, you had grabbed his hand and stuffed the banana into your mouth. Since then, you've been an adventurous little bebbers, trying to participate in every meal, whether we intended on feeding you or not. You know what you want, and what you want is food. Preferrably now, and you'd like to do it yourself, thank you very much. When we are the tiniest bit slow returning dropped food to you, you bang on your tray as if to demand faster service (what can I say, we're a Chinese eatery, and we all know those get minus one or two stars on Yelp for poor service), when we try to help you by feeding you soft, difficult to grasp foods like yogurt or congee, you protest loudly and try to grab the spoon to stick it into your mouth yourself. I feel vaguely like I should be trying to teach you better manners, but it's just so funny seeing you assert yourself.

We celebrated your first Easter this last month and I keep thinking about something I read somewhere, about how that first Holy Saturday just plain sucked for Jesus' disciples. They didn't know, despite numerous hints, that the resurrection was coming. All they knew was that their leader was dead, the revolution didn't happen, and they'd left their jobs and families for what? A tomb?

When I was in the thick of the newborn period with you and waking up every hour to nurse and getting peed on every other diaper change, I didn't really get why people thought babies were so great (sure, you were lovable, but you weren't exactly what I would call my top recreational choice). Now that you're blossoming into your own little person, I'm starting to see the light. Where before I was hopeless and exhausted and wondering if I'd made a huge mistake (cue "The Sound of Silence"), now I'm starting to feel a little more sure of myself as your mother and I'm able to really enjoy you. And through it all, God has been there, whether I felt Him or not, sustaining me so that I can make it through until the proverbial Easter morning.

In some areas of parenting I feel like I've reached the empty tomb and can rejoice (e.g. I don't have to wonder how to play with you or occupy you anymore...the answer is just give you food!), in some areas I'm still in Saturday mode (e.g. sleep training...ugh), and I'm sure there are many more areas where I'm still in the blissful ignorance of Palm Sunday. But I'll just keep meditating on the Easter story and remember that we know about the resurrection now; we know that Jesus has already triumphed. Even when things feel like Saturday, I trust that Sunday is coming. I trust that God has a plan that I just didn't get, despite the hints, and repeat 1 Corinthians 15:55-58.

“O death, where is your victory? 

O death, where is your sting?” 

The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law. But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain.

Sometimes, amidst the poopy diapers and scraping sweet potato off the floor, being a parent doesn't feel like the work of the Lord, but I know He has entrusted us with the raising of you, and I'll do my best to be steadfast.

love,
Mommy

Likes:

• Food: You are a huge fan of corn on the cob, cantaloupe, banana (you are your daddy's son all right!), pork (like a good Cantonese boy!), and 粥. If you see food on your plate and we don't get it to your tray fast enough, you will start freaking out and even dive toward the food if you can. If there is corn on the table and you are eating something else, you will throw the other stuff onto the floor and hold your hands out toward the corn. It's gotten to the point where we have to hide the corn if we want you to eat anything else during dinner. 
• Going really fast: When your daddy holds you and runs down the hall, or when he pushes you in your stroller super fast across a parking lot, you get this frozen open-mouthed face of joy, like you just can't believe your good luck.  
• TMT, aka 跳舞 Time: You make the same face as above when we swing your around during Sandra Boynton's "Barnyard Dance" song. 
• Pokemon: Best way to get you to crack a smile -- start making Pokemon noises! Your favorite is Diglet; Jigglypuff doesn't do much for you. 
• Your big brother, Walnut: Your eyes light up and you get this huge grin every time you see him walk by, and you will start bouncing in place hoping he comes closer. Should he come within grabbing distance, you will try to grab a big handful of fur and stick it in your mouth. 

So thrilled that you get to sit next to Walnut and stick your hand in his fur...and he's not running away!

The long-suffering cat heaves a huge sigh. 

Look at that expression of unbridled joy, to be so close to your big brother!

So intense, that focused stare. 

And lest you think it was a fluke, here's another picture from a different day, with the exact same expression of longing. 

Dislikes:

• Food: Like a stereotypical kid, you just hate broccoli. It goes on the floor instantly if it's handed to you and you make faces when florets mysteriously find their way into your mouth. 
• Wiping your face after eating: You're not a big complainer in general, unless I'm trying to clean you up. Then it's wild head turning in an attempt to avoid the washcloth. 
• This one teacher at school: You like most of the people at school, but your main babysitter reports that this one English teacher makes you cry, and yet you can't stop looking at him. Maybe it's like when one knows a spider is in the room, so one has to keep track of where it went? Our theory is that he's the only person you've ever seen that has facial hair; looks like you would not enjoy the month of Movember. 

New this month:

• Flipping over instantly during diaper changes: Neck-bridging, while annoying, was still somewhat helpful for when it came time to put your pants back on. But that was so last month. There is nothing remotely helpful about your flipping over. Thankfully, you are fairly easily distracted with a book to play with. 
• First Easter egg hunt: You were the youngest baby there, but we managed to artificially help you find an egg by holding you right in front of it so you could grab at it. 

• First meal at a restaurant: You've been to restaurants before, but this was the first time you actually partook of a meal at one! Sweet Tomatoes was an ideal first choice because there are so many unseasoned options at the salad bar. Your favorite by far was the baked potato; after that potato, you couldn't get enough of it fast enough, and when it crumbled out of your tight little grip, you started crying because there was no more potato in your hand. 

• Speaking of that potato, talking: You used to be a fairly quiet baby, not making much noise unless it was time to sleep. No longer! Something about that potato was a transcendental experience, because ever since that evening, you've been babbling and squealing. You favor the syllable ba, which makes me think your first word will sadly not be "mama."
• Actually playing with another baby at a playdate: You guys took turns patting each other's shoulder, grabbing burp cloths from each other, and trying to suck each other's toes, all punctuated by lots of squealing. It was pretty amusing to watch. 
• First time being put to bed without Mommy or Daddy: We went to the wedding banquet of one of your daddy's good childhood friends, so 爺爺 fed you dinner, gave you a bath, and did your whole bedtime routine. You were so good and went to sleep without a fuss! 
• First costume feature on Mommy's blog: You get all the geek points for having an awesome first cosplay. 

• Rotating on your tummy: It's apparently the precursor to crawling, so I'm scared. Looks like I need to start baby-proofing the house. 
• Finally catching the monkey on your bouncer! Ever since your first time in the bouncer, you've had your eye on that dangling monkey. You keep making swipes at it but it's always been too far and you've been too uncoordinated. Until now! The day you caught the monkey and stuffed it in your mouth, you were so pleased with yourself. 

ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED.

How the Sixth Month Went

Dear Zachary,

Wow, I can't believe we've had you for half a year! If we had purchased and paid for you using PayPal, we would now no longer be able to return you. Which is good, because that thought gets a little too tempting when it's 4:30 in the morning and you're up for the fourth time. Oh wait, we didn't pay for you with PayPal, so that's irrelevant. Is it wrong to joke about wanting to return a baby? I hope not, but in case it is, let me reassure you that we would never do so. You are getting to be such a little personality; we can no longer imagine what our lives would be like without you.

We recently started checking out new churches in hopes of finding more new parent community, and one of the churches we visited has an awesome nursery where we can leave you for all of service. I'd gotten so used to having you with us all the time that it almost felt weird to worship and listen to a sermon without bouncing you on our laps or walking you around the back of the sanctuary. It was like Ricky Bobby in Talladega Nights: "I'm not sure what to do with my hands."

It's funny how quickly you've insinuated yourself into our lives and changed how we think about everything. We never used to pay attention to whether churches had good kids' programs, but now it's at the top of our list of must-haves. I used to vaguely kind of try to buy organic produce, but now I've got the dirty dozen infographic saved on my phone in preparation for when you start solids. I used to daydream about what costumes I could sew for myself, but now I make plans for all the fun cosplay I can do with you before you're too old to think that dressing up with Mommy is cool. As Jonathan Coulton sang, you ruined everything in the nicest way. I never used to think that song was so great, but now I understand.

love,
Mommy

Likes:

• Rolling over. You've been able to roll for a couple months now, but you used to only do so in the morning when you were feeling especially happy and energetic (and nobody was watching). Now, you do so within about five seconds every time we set you down.
• According to your babysitter at school, the number three and classical piano music. We are so blessed that the lady who watches you is committed to making your school experience as rich as possible; she sings to you and has you listen to all sorts of different composers and instruments, and she reports back to me about what your favorites are. 
• Grabbing yourself down there. It was only a matter of time, I was told by other mamas of boys. Well, it's happened, and bath time and diaper changing time are now exploration time as well. 
• Cold teethers. We got some teething rings for you that can be refrigerated, and you love chomping down on them. Once they come to room temperature, though, they are much less interesting. 

Warm teether discarded in favor of toes. 

Dislikes:

• Sleeping on your tummy. This is a problem, since as soon as we put you in your crib, you flip over. It's really too bad you don't listen to reason, because I've explained to you several times that if you don't like sleeping on your tummy, maybe you shouldn't flip over when I put you down. Anyway, this has made sleep training much more difficult. 
• Speaking of sleep training, sleep training. You are not a fan of waiting until the three hour mark to eat at night, you are not a fan of sleeping in your own crib instead of snuggled up next to mommy, you are not a fan of being put down awake, and you are not a fan of timed checks. I'm sorry, son, but it needs to happen. Sleep is too beautiful and necessary of a thing for us to put off teaching you about it any longer. Also your mommy is about to fall over from exhaustion.
• Having things put on you. This includes diapers and clothes. You were never really a fan of putting clothes on post-bath, but diaper changes used to be okay. Well, no longer. Ever since you developed the ability to scoot around by arching your back and pushing with your legs, you've been practicing this move by scooting away when we try to put on your diaper and clothes. As your 嫲嫲 likes to say, you need to move to somewhere in Africa where it's acceptable to wander around naked. 

Your favorite time of day: post-bath, pre-pajama.

New this month: 

• Arching your back and scooting around. As mentioned above, this is a new mode of transportation for you. We can no longer put you down and expect to find you in the same place. Just a sneak preview of when you start crawling, I guess. Sigh, I guess I should start baby proofing the house... 

Check out that neck strength! I can fit my arm under you with room to spare when you do this. 

This is a common occurrence these days: you have scooted all the way off of the blanket, then you see something worth investigating, like the octopus doorstop, so you flip to your side and start nomming away.

One time you scooted off your blanket and traveled in a U and ended up like this.

• Your first cold. Sad milestone, but milestone nonetheless. Thankfully it was a fairly minor cold that manifested as two days of sneezing, congestion, and runny nose. Still, it was miserable for all concerned: you, because it was hard to eat when stuffed up, and us, because we had to listen to your sad snuffling. 
• Noticing and attempting to interact with your big brother. You didn't use to pay any particular attention to Walnut, but now you actively track him when he walks by, and if he's close enough, you'll reach out your hand and try to grab his fur. Just last week, when he walked up to sniff you, you actually gave him a huge smile! 

• Seeing something you want and going for it, aka the beginnings of object permanence. In the last couple of days, you've suddenly noticed that Daddy uses an orange fish-thing to water you during bath time, and when he put it down in the water, you deliberately sat up and tried to grab it. You got upset when we tried to sit you back (because we didn't want you to face plant into the the water and drown!) and kept trying to struggle toward the fish. When we took you out of the bath, you cried until we gave you the fish to chew on. Now, the first thing you do when you get into the bath tub is try to find the fish. I'm slightly proud, but slightly annoyed, because now bath time is an ordeal. 



I can no longer take lobster comparison pictures with you lying nicely next to it. You see it there beside you, decide it's worth investigating, and then roll over to try tasting it. 

• Having preferences. Based on amount of smiling and time spent actually paying attention to the book, you seem to like the Pajama Time book the most of all the Sandra Boynton books, which is ironic since you 1) hate putting on pajamas, and 2) hate bedtime. But you really like the "Jamma jamma jamma jamma P! J!" chant. 

How the Fifth Month Went

Dear Zachary,

I tried to think of something clever to say about your being five months old, but I'm coming up empty. It's hard to think of clever witticisms when you're still not letting me get much sleep at night. To make up for that, though, you've gotten more fun during the day. From learning to use your hands, to being able to sit in your high chair and watch me wash dishes/prep food, it's rewarding to see you learn to interact with your world.

Now that we've settled into the routine of going to school three times a week, I'm rediscovering how much I love having conversations with people who can respond more or less intelligently teaching. You love it too, because it means you get to be at school, where there is no shortage of people willing to coo over you. You are so liberal with your smiles, it *almost* makes me wish you showed some kind of preference for me. But since you don't, I'll continue being happy that I can hand you off to strangers without any signs of anxiety on your part.

The flip side of this school thing is that on the days we don't go to school...The. Days. Drag. On. Forever. It gets really tempting to just read endless BuzzFeed articles (A List of Some Number of Things About Disney Princesses!) and pin countless cookie recipes (there's no way I'm ever giving enough tests to justify baking that many cookies!) on my phone while you chew on your blanket, but I'm trying to remind myself that these days need to be treasured. The bonus of working with high schoolers is knowing that I'm getting a preview of what you'll be like in the future; soon you'll be spending twelve hours a day at school (I'm assuming you'll have sports practice/debate club/robotics team/some other extracurricular activity) instead of twelve hours giggling and napping with me, and the whole world tells me I'll miss these slow, leisurely (mostly slow) days. So I'm making an effort to put my phone away and follow the words of a wise man who died before he could spend any time with his child:

Wherever you are, be all there. -- Jim Elliot

It's a grace to be able to hang out with you all day on Wednesdays and Thursdays.

Love,
Mommy

Likes:

• Grabbing. Last month I was worried because you weren't grabbing things yet, even though the developmental milestones book said you should be. Well, I'm not worried anymore. You're grabbing the links on your activity gym, the O-ball, the taggie and shark I made for you, various rattles, my hair, my shirt, my face, Walnut's hair, everything! And then sticking them in your mouth, if possible. It makes me feel ridiculously gratified that you like the toys I made for you, although really, you like anything with little bits to suck on. 

• Somewhat related to the above: putting your arms around my neck when being held and pinching. The former is sweet and endearing, the latter, not so much. 
• Splashing during bath time.  We used to be so proud of you sitting quietly in the bath tub, but now you love kicking the water out. Your right foot is especially active -- Daddy jokes that you'll have a buffer right leg because seriously, it never stops moving. It's like somebody told your right leg that you were riding a bicycle and then forgot to tell it to stop. 
• Being tickled around your neck. We were also starting to think you weren't ticklish, but then your 公公 discovered the sweet spot that makes you giggle up a storm. 

• Being tossed in the air. Leave it to Daddy to dare to send you fake flying and set off a fit of giggles. There's no way I would've dared to do it without seeing him do it first. 

• Doing crunches. Poor little guy, you want so badly to sit up and see what's going on, but your core can't quite do it yet. Still, one must admire your persistence in trying to sit up. You especially like doing it in the bath, except then you can't hold the position for very long, so you tip over to the side and start gnawing on the side of the tub. 

• Rolling over, but only when nobody's looking. Every morning, I think to myself, maybe this is the morning I'll catch you rolling on video so that we can show grandparents. And every morning, I wait and wait, you lie there on your back and smile and show no signs of going anywhere, so I decide to step out and get some tea or breakfast. And inevitably, when I come back into the room, there you are in tummy time. You little devious thing, you. 

Dislikes:

• Cars that honk unnecessarily, cars with pumped up sound systems, excited middle schoolers, barking dogs, sirens, and flocks of geese overhead. Okay, maybe those are more my dislikes than yours, but seriously, nothing gets me more irrationally angry than noisy things that wake you up when you take your daily car nap. I go to all the trouble of driving you around until you fall asleep, only to have my efforts foiled by people who don't stop to consider that there might be a baby sleeping somewhere nearby (Just to be clear, I'm kidding about that, because really, how would they know). 
• Sleeping in new places. We took you on your first church retreat, and you absolutely refused to sleep in an unfamiliar environment. I ended lying on the floor, nursing you for hours those two nights in order to get you to stay asleep. And then when we came back you were all thrown off, and to be honest, you still haven't recovered. 

You also hated having to take pictures with the speaker's daughter.

New this month: 

• As mentioned above, you went on your first retreat. Aside from the sleeping thing, you did fabulously, being quiet during the plenary sessions, bouncing happily during the small group times, and mostly cooperating during meal times. You especially loved all the people fawning over you; mom and dad especially loved all the people willing to give them a break by holding you. 
• Your 爺爺, 嫲嫲 and 姑姐 came to visit from Philly. As with retreat, you love new people to smile at and play with, and we are glad to hand you over to give our arms a break. 
• They brought you a bunch of new clothes, and you're already almost too long for a couple of those 6-9 month onesies. How is that possible. 
• You raked in the red envelopes for your first Chinese New Year. We are so grateful for the people who love you so much already!

Happy Year of the Ram/Sheep/Goat!

How the Fourth Month Went

Dear Zachary,

Oh, you little troll, you! Last month, I was all smug thinking that we had this parenting thing figured out. You were starting to sleep longer and longer stretches (up to eight hours!) at night. You were happy playing by yourself, you were pooping regularly, and eating like a champ. Well, shortly after writing last month's post, you did an about-face and decided to teach your parents that there's no putting you in a box; you refuse to be so easily deciphered!

In true overachiever style, you decided to start your four month sleep regression a month early, going back to waking every couple of hours at night. Now, a good night is when you sleep for more than three hours in a row. You also started pooping less regularly, leading us to be on edge in fear of poosplosions every third day or so. And then there's the eating -- gone are the days of gaining half a pound a week (probably a good thing, to give our arm muscles time to catch up) -- these days you're too distracted by every little thing to get a good meal in during the day; consequently you need to make up the calories at night. I never thought a baby could get more alert than you, but leave it to you to defy expectations in every way! Thankfully, you still play by yourself. At least there's that, or else I would've gone crazy this month.

And yet. And yet. Every day I find myself loving you more and more, you adorable little boy, you. Even though it's because of you that I'm perpetually tired, hungry, thirsty, and sore, it's worth it seeing you grow and change. When you greet me with that little grin, when you laugh in delight at my silly songs, there's nothing like that feeling of heart-swelling love.

Sometimes when I'm bored while nursing you, I look back at photos of when you were just born. How utterly different you look already -- like a little boy and not a newborn! People keep telling me how mature you look, that you look older than four months, and it makes me both proud and sad. Even though I kind of can't wait until you outgrow this sleep regression, I'm going to miss it when you're not a little baby anymore. When I (prematurely, I'm sure) think about you being old enough to go to school (and give me time to myself!) and run around and get hurt and have teenage angst, I just squeeze your little warm body tighter and understand, just a little, why more experienced parents say to enjoy this time because it flies so fast. I think I'm finally starting to get this loving-your-child-so-much-it-hurts thing, and it is awful and wonderful and lovely and beautiful. Being your parent is an ongoing lesson in how deep the Father's love for us, because I can't even fathom how He could give His only son, to make wretches like us His treasure. Thank you for helping me to learn that, baby guy.

love,
Mommy

Likes:

• Laughing hysterically when we make silly noises at you. It started with exaggerated clapping after bath time, and now we find ourselves doing crazier and crazier things in hopes of hearing that infectious laugh of yours. 
• Not staying put, but not rolling either. You know how to roll. I know you do. You do it once a day, just to get our hopes up of catching it on video, but I think you know that rolling results in unasked for tummy time, so you don't do it any more often than that. Instead, you move around by planting your feet, lifting your butt, and then scotching over a few inches when you bring it back down. In that way, you've managed to move off your blanket and almost headbutt the heater while we weren't looking. 
• Diaper-free time. Every night, right before bath time, we let you air out your nether regions, and that's when you go crazy with the kicking (and peeing). You are just destroying our supply of chux pads, but it's hard to deny you that freedom when you obviously enjoy it so much. 
• Winning others over. We like speculating on what Myers-Briggs letters you might have (we're pretty sure you're an E) and what strengths you might've inherited from your parents -- and we're beginning to think you got your daddy's WOO. You know how to turn on the charm and even do this cute crooked smile and quick head-duck like you're shy about meeting people, except that you are totally fine with strangers holding you. You have conquered hearts at church, and now at Mommy's school. Which is good, because you have to go to school and be cared for by strangers three days a week. 

Dislikes: 

• Things touching your head and hands. Hats, lotion application, face washing, hand washing, putting on clothes, and nail-clipping are all anathema. Unfortunately, only the first item is optional. Because of your super sharp daggers, you've managed to inflict two injuries on yourself, leading people to question whether Walnut is attacking you. What a classic little brother move -- getting your big brother in trouble over something you did yourself!
• Eating when there are interesting things going on elsewhere. It's been really hard getting you to focus long enough to get a good meal these days. Why eat when Daddy or Walnut are walking by? Or when there's sunlight streaming through that window? Or when there's your hand to suck on? Or when the chair is red? 

New this month:

• You celebrated your first Christmas! That already seems like ages ago, doesn't it? You got quite a haul of clothes, which is good, because...
• You have graduated to 3-6 month clothing for onesies and footed jammies. 0-3 month jackets and pants and other separates still fit you, because you're basically just long and skinny. 3-6 month separates look ridiculously wide on you, but the length of onesies is right, since you take after Mommy in being all torso.  
• As mentioned previously, you started going to "daycare" at Mommy's school three days a week. General opinion is that you are a very likable, personable baby...except when it's time to nap. So far you have not succeeded in napping at school, despite their going out and specially acquiring a Pack-N-Play for you. 
• Seeing as how you like her books so much, Mommy finally caved and used all her Amazon points to buy the rest of Sandra Boynton's books for your library. Thankfully, her books are enjoyable for both babies and adults, which is good, since these are the books we'll probably be reading fifty times over. 
• Previously, you were just sucking on your fists; now, you are actually sucking on your thumb! 

• We tried unswaddling you and transitioning to the Baby Merlin Magic Sleepsuit, but that was a disaster. You kept waking yourself up with your startle reflex, but gosh darn it if you don't look adorably like the Michelin man in that marshmallow suit. 
• Baby playdates! We've had a lot of hangouts with friends who also have babies, mostly a lot older than you. But just recently, Mommy's friend has been bringing her just-six-weeks-younger-than-you baby over once a week and while it's really more of a mommy adult-conversation-date, you little guys have obligingly lain on blankets next to each other and stared and gurgled. It's pretty great!

Dad Thoughts, the Poop Special Edition

WARNING: Poop, and probably TMI about baby feces, but also a PSA for people who are yet to be parents (picture included; caveat emptor)

There's not a whole lot about babies in textbooks when you study biology in high school or college. Most of what you learn in these textbooks about the human body pertains to mature human systems. As parents, we learned that at a certain point (around 2.5-3 months), babies will only poop once every 3-5 days, some even up to 21 days. Their bodies are learning to be more efficient with the nutrients and energy from breastmilk. We thought it was constipation, but it's completely normal. Sound unhealthy? It may be for adults, but not for babies.

Great, you think, less poopy diapers to change, but the flip side is that an anxiety forms within the parents after day 3 of no poop. The fear of an explosion of poo (known as a poosplosion) is enough to make anyone tremble. On the third day, you start to modify your plans for going out since being out in a restaurant or other public place would be the worst. By the fourth day, you don't even want to leave the house. Well the poosplosion finally happened on day 5, and lucky for us, it happened at home, in the middle of the day, on a weekend, when I was home to help. Three days later, we weren't so lucky. We had a poosplosion that exploded all the way up to his armpit. That onesie went into the trash and the only way to clean off Z was to take a shower with him to rub off all the poo.

Why the shower? Because the consistency of poosplosion poo starts to be more of a chunky peanut butter substance instead of the previously seedy mustard poo. Which is terrible because it is so hard to wipe off.

This is what a poosplosion looks like. Note how it runs up the back of the diaper (not pictured: the poo-covered baby.)

Regardless, I love Z so much. And it's fun to talk about poop.


Some Q&A:
Q: Was this what you expected it to be like in terms of dealing with poop? 
A: I never knew poo could be this sticky but there's nothing like a clean, happy baby after the event. Our pediatrician did give us a flyer that listed different kinds, colors and textures of baby poop, but nothing can really prepare you for poosplosions.

Q: Should I be scared of babies now and their potential poosplosions?
A: No, chances are you won't be holding the baby when a poosplosion happens. If anything, you should give props to all parents who are willing to roll up their sleeves each day and get their hands dirty.

Q: Is there a diaper brand you like to use? 
A: Pampers all the way. They even have a rewards program for loyalty to their brand.

Q: Does your appetite get affected by the poop?
A: No, and I still like peanut butter.

Q: Will Z look back on this entry and be embarrassed?
A: You know it.

Who would've guessed that such nastiness could come out of such a cute butt?